Author: dinozzoitis aka Violetwarnercobalt
Author's Notes: Written for the tibbs_yuletide advent calendar. The last fic I posted WAS meant to be my last for the advent calendar however I inadvertently depressed the hell out of everyone so I thought I would write a sequel to make amends. While this is still angsty and full of hurt/comfort I also have my fingers crossed that you will find it full of hope and promise, and that it is a bit happier than the previous fic. I apologise if you were upset by my last fic it was definitely not my intention, I just wanted to show that, while Christmas is meant to be a happy time, it is not always the way and life can be pretty crap sometimes! Anyway sorry again if I ruined any one's Christmas with Don’t Want A Lot For Christmas. Big thanks to everyone who commented on the previous especially sinfulslasher for fitting this piece in the calendar, starbuckssue for always being supportive (even when I do depress her lol sorry hun!) and alwaysn_4ever for creating a plot bunny. This fic is for all of you! *Christmas Hugs*
Warning: Slash, Angst, Sequel to my last Yuletide fic Don’t Want A Lot For Christmas
Spoilers: Minor spoilers for the most recent episode False Witness since this is my idea of what could have happened, different to what aired though, as well as spoilers for Broken Arrow and Flesh and Blood... and possibly the last lot of episodes for season 7. Also slight spoilers for It’s A Wonderful Life (which has become one of my favorite holiday movies)
Characters/Pairings: Tony/Gibbs (obviously lol!)
Genre/Category: Angst, Hurt Comfort, slight Romance,
Word Count: 1,452
Disclaimer: I do not own or am in any way affiliated with those that own NCIS, nor am I connected to the show's cast and crew. This is written out of pure enjoyment and absolutely no money is being made from it's creation.
Summary: Maybe, just this one time, Tony will get what he wants and needs, even if it wasn’t what he was asking for.
More Than You Could Ever Know
Gibbs wasn’t sure how long he had sat there on the living room floor; gently rocking a crying Tony back and forth, murmuring comforting words in the younger man’s ear, when the trembling body stilled in his arms.
At first Gibbs was concerned about the sudden lack of movement from his senior field agent and ex lover, however, when he shifted his body to get a better look at the face pressed against his chest he had noted that Tony had simply and innocently cried himself to sleep.
The normally hardened ex marine couldn’t help but sigh sadly; Tony had been through so much pain, especially lately, most of which was caused by the two men who were meant to love him more than anyone else in the world, and it terrified him to know end that this time he may have lost the real Tony for good.
Gently shaking the younger man awake, the silver haired agent waited until his companion had pried open his bloodshot green eyes before speaking softly.
“Come on Tony, let’s get you sorted out so you can go to bed, looks like you could do with the sleep.” his gut churned at the minute nod that was given in reply.
The older man did all the work to get the two up off of the ground, all of the Italian’s energy seemingly disappearing sometime during his break down.
Gibbs ignored the clattering sound as the photo Tony had previously been clutching to his chest fell to the ground. He knew that neither of them could deal with anything related to Tony’s father right at that very moment, all that mattered was getting Tony comfortable enough to sleep, they would have enough of the absent man’s broken promises to deal with the next day.
Practically dragging DiNozzo to the en suite, Gibbs sat him down on the closed toilet seat and caressed his face for a brief moment; his mind going over what an idiot he had been to throw their love away.
“Hey T, I’m gonna start the shower for you, do you think you can undress and wash yourself?”
The room was completely silent for a moment, neither man’s breaths being heard.
Once again there was nothing but silence, this time however, Tony gave another nod and Gibbs left him on the toilet seat to undress while he went across the room and adjusted the shower, still knowing how Tony liked his showers even after all their time apart.
When he turned around Gibbs noticed that the younger man hadn’t moved an inch except to close his exhausted eyes.
If Gibbs had thought his heart had broken earlier in the night he was wrong, seeing the usually lively and vibrant man so weary and drained made his heart shatter into a million pieces.
Kneeling down in front of him, wanting to do anything to make things right, but knowing nothing would ever truly be enough, Gibbs started removing Tony’s shoes, continuing to take off the other man’s clothes one item at a time until he was fully undressed, leading him to the shower.
The older man silently sent out his thanks to whoever may have been listening that Tony had a bench in his shower, he knew that if he had left the other man standing he would crumple to the ground, his strength vanishing with his energy earlier. Despite being fully clothed Gibbs joined Tony in the shower, washing the younger man as he laid against his chest.
It wasn’t until the senior agent started washing down the ex cop’s chest that he noticed the bleeding scrapes in amongst the chest hair. At first he was baffled as to their cause, but when it hit him he couldn’t stop a tear from sliding down his already wet face.
Laying his head on top of Tony’s, Gibbs spoke, making a promise that he wasn’t even sure the other man had heard or not “I swear to you Tony, I will never let that bastard hurt you again...”
Gibbs was startled by the raspy voice that broke through his silent anger “You talking about you or my so-called father?”
Holding Tony’s face in both of his hands Gibbs’ blue eyes stared deeply into the green eyes before him “Both. I know it doesn’t sound like much coming from me after everything I have put you through; but I swear to you that with every ounce of my being I will do everything in my power to make sure no one; and I mean no one, hurts you again...”
“I wish I could believe that Jethro, I really do, it’s just...”
“I know. It’s just that I was stupid enough to throw away everything that you sacrificed yourself for and you can’t trust me.”
“I’m sorry... but I told you when things first started between us that I had a big problem with trust and I wasn’t going to let you or anyone else hurt me and I broke my own rule.” Tony unconsciously clung tightly to Gibbs’ soaked shirt.
“No. Don’t do that. You have nothing to apologise for. I was the one who was wrong, I was the one who hurt you, despite knowing everything I did. If anyone should be sorry it’s me.”
Nodding again, Tony laid his head back against Gibbs’ chest, refusing to release the section of shirt in his clasped hand, even as the older man returned to bathing Tony.
“I am you know.”
“Sorry, don’t think you will ever understand how truly sorry I am for hurting you DiNozzo.”
“What’s done is done... too late now to fix it...” if Gibbs hadn’t have been listening so intently he might have missed the added “or to make it better...”
“I know I can’t, but I am going to try. I’d do anything and everything to make it up to you, no matter what it cost me...”
They remained silent during the rest of the shower. When Gibbs turned of the faucet he reached out and grabbed both the large towel and the fluffy red bath robe off of the rack, quickly but gently drying Tony before wrapping him tightly in the robe.
It was as though the second the two men stepped out of the shower the Italian realised what had happened “Gibbs your clothes are soaking wet... you should change before you get sick.”
“I will, I just want to get you settled first...”
“Don’t worry about me, I can put myself to bed. You need to get changed, if not for yourself, then for my carpet... don’t need the super kicking me out on top of everything... that’d really ruin my Christmas...”
It was Gibbs turn to nod, before he could go anywhere though he paused and turned back to Tony.
“There’s still a couple of your things in the bottom drawer that you never picked up after... well you know...”
The older man waited and watched as Tony crawled into bed before he moved to the drawer where the younger man had kept his things.
He quickly changed in the bathroom, leaving the sodden clothes in a pile on the floor until he could deal with them in the morning, and went over to the bed, bending down, he ran his fingers gently through Tony’s hair.
“I’ll be on the couch in the living room, call if you need me...”
Tony’s hand shot out, grabbing the older man’s wrist tightly before he could turn and leave the room. “Lay with me?”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure... Please? Just... lay with me?” wide green eyes looked up at him, begging him not to leave him alone, there was no way he could resist.
Moving the covers back Gibbs slipped in beside Tony, not having to wait long before the younger man curled up at his side, head, once again, on his chest, his arm draped over Gibbs’ middle.
“When you said you would do anything to make it up to me, did you mean it?”
“With all my heart and soul.”
“Could you lasso the moon for me?”
It was a quiet request, one that anyone else might not have understood the true meaning of, but Gibbs could see it in the younger man’s eyes, despite being dimmer than usual, that the spark which he had fallen in love with was back.
“If there’s a way to do, it I’ll find it, I’ll do anything for you...”
As the snow fell lightly outside the window, Tony lay nestled in Gibbs’ warm embrace, this time it was with a heart full of hope, as the two tried to piece the younger man back together, piece by piece.